Nellie and John

For Nellie, you are with me always. These words were written by John Wooden and dedicated to the memory of his dear wife, Nellie, in John's book, Wooden, A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court. His Nellie was the "wind beneath his wings." And he soared in life because of her.

John Wooden died on June 4 four months shy of his 100th birthday. He was vital to the end. Bill Walton visited him at the hospital before he passed and remarked, "Coach's mind is sharp as a tack but his body was very, very frail." Nellie, his wife for 53 years, died on March 21, 1985 of cancer. John writes of her, "I had the greatest co-coach working alongside me, by the name of Nellie."

Young Wooden met his future wife and best friend for life, Nellie, at a carnival in Indiana in 1926, while in high school. Picture a Frank Capra movie. Became high school sweethearts. Marriage in 1932 and two children thereafter. They were the original American Gothic without the pitchfork. Both farm raised, Christian, hard-working, honest, modest, moral, family-oriented, funloving educated folks from the heartland. Their's was a real love story.

After Nellie died, John was very distraught. His faith and family comforted him, not his work. His work and his incredible success were just parts of his life. He was not defined by banners or accolades foisted on him by others but by his enduring love for Nellie and his family. Even after Nellie's death, some 25 years later, John on the 21st of every month would visit her grave and would write a love letter to her. The letter would be placed on the pillow she slept on during their life together. Does our world even recognize this kind of tenderness anymore?

Keith Wilkes visited Coach at the hospital shortly before he died. Wilkes stated that he saw "that little glint" in his pale blue eyes. While there, Wilkes saw Coach's son, shave his father. Why fuss with shaving at such a somber time? The son, upon seeing Wilkes bewilderment, said, "my Dad is getting ready to see Nellie (has to look proper)."

In John's aforementioned book, it is written, "Folks think Nellie and I had a perfect marriage but it was because we worked at it. There are rough patches in any marriage. Very early we understood that there would be times when we disagreed but there would never be times when we had to be disagreeable. We kept to that rule for over half a century. Nellie and I have great love for one another, but we understood that even love takes work."

Nellie and John truly lived a Love Story. Contrary to Hollywood's meaning of love as "never having to say your sorry", the Woodens demonstrated that saying your sorry is not only okay but vitally necessary, human and enduring for a loving relationship.

Well done Nellie and John and thank you for your wisdom. I am pleased that you are together for eternity.

May God bless you both.