Have a laugh or two this Thanksgiving

Here are a few classic lines from the comedic personalities past and present on Thanksgiving:

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
Phyliss Diller

"Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare.  They are consumed in 15 minutes.  Football half times take 15 minutes.  This is no coincidence."
Erma Bombeck

"The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon.  I need a job."
Conan O'Brien

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.  People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.  And discover once a year is way too often."
Johnny Carson

Wherever you may be on this fine day of Thanksgiving have fun, laugh and make someone else laugh amidst it all. For laughter is key in this world.

And think about and rejoice for all of our multitudinous blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Most Beautiful Race on the Planet

Why do we run? For 9,000 reasons.

Honeymooners take first place for both men's and women's divisions.

This past Sunday, my family and 9,000 of our closest friends, ran along the Monterey Coast in the 10th Annual Big Sur Half Marathon.  The weatherman predicted a cold rain but the good Lord thought otherwise.  We were blessed with warm air, sunny skies and no wind.  A runners delight.  All this set against a backdrop of  incomparable beauty and a restless sea. It could not have been better for the runners but it was truly magical for two very elite athletes.

For the first time in modern day running history, methinks, a husband and wife won their respective divisions in the same long distance race.  Arizonans Ben Bruce, 30, and his wife, Stephanie Rothstein-Bruce, 29, won first place in both the men's and women's division.  At one point, I saw Ben cruising at top speed with three Kenyons in hot pursuit on his tail.  At mile 9, Ben had a healthy lead over the Kenyons but was still concerned. "Even when I got the big lead, I was wondering, are they coming back on me? You feel hurt, too.  It just becomes a matter of hanging on from there."  Boy, did Ben hang on and beat the tireless Kenyons.  Impressive. His time was 1:04:45.  A shade under 5 minutes a mile.  First place for men.

His wife, Stephanie, was equally impressive.  I saw Stephanie motoring back to the finish line in pure chettah stride. Her body was and is a finely tuned machine with every muscle in concert with one goal...to go really fast.  A lovely athletic motion to witness. She finished the race with a personal best time of 1:12:19. A shade under 6 minutes a mile.  First place for women.

And that's not all regarding the husband and wife dual victory on Sunday past.  You ready for this?  They were on their HONEYMOON!!!  Forget Cancun.  Forget Hawaii.  Forget Bahamas.  'Babe, let's run a marathon together...and win the darn thing on our honeymoon. OK.' Incidentally, they both won $3000 each for first place and guess where they are headed next?  To run in the Honolulu Marathon next month. Now those are some runnin' foos!

Congrats to Bruce and Stephanie and I hope you have a very happy life together. And major props for all of us runners who gutted it out and rode in on Ben and Stephanie's wake. It was a spectacular race and an astonishing accomplishment for the entire field of runners.

Everybody won that day.

See you next year.

"stupid is as stupid does"

Would you hire this guy to run your company?  Probably not.  So why is he governing over the largest economy in the world (for now) for a second term? Because we're stupid.

President Obama stunningly won a second term as President of the United States this past Tuesday.   With a lot of help from his loyal friends:  students, blacks, Hispanics, women, left wing radicals and an ever-growing number of government largesse receivers, Obama narrowly defeated Governor Mitt Romney by 2% points 50-48.  How?  Regardless of his pathetic four year record as president, simply, Obama again proved to be more rockstar likeable, an expert campaigner and an effective demagogue against the richer than Croesus but boring as burnt toast, Romney. Welcome to American Idol, White House edition.

Romney and the Republican braintrust should have seen this coming long before this past Tuesday. A wealthy boringly normal 1% Republican guy or gal does not have a chance against a self-professed "liberal warrior idol" for the middle class on today's unsavory and angry political stage.  One can't buy any office anymore much less the presidency. Want proof? Cue up super rich Meg Whitman's failed run for Governor in the State of California two years ago.  She was trounced by Governor Moonbeam and he who sleeps on the floor, septuagenarian (74 years old) Jerry Brown. (Incidentally, the odd Brown is the perfect gov for the failed state of Cali.)

Romney was painted fictitiously by the Obamanistas as another rich capitalist who exploited the middle class.  'How dare he succeed in Obama's America at the expense of all of us regular folk', was the nationwide murmur by the other side all the way into and out of the voting booth.

Obama, the black everyman, whose cunning heart beats for the downtrodden middle class of all colors, waged a full frontal relentless assault against the wealthy, successful, white businessman, Romney.  While Romney promised jobs and an opportunity for work to those 23 million supposedly in need, Obama promised everything but jobs and a repudiation of everything Romney represented.  And the foolish 50% American electorate swallowed that class warfare claptrap by the incumbent...hook, line and sinker.

Mitt lost for three reasons:  one, he was too financially successful (a new negative in the USA) which Obama exploited to his advantage; two, he was too decent to the incumbent particularly on the Benghazi murders; and, three, Obama's likeability proved to be more important to many voters than his record.  Other factors may have played a part, such as: Hurricane Sandy which stalled Romney's surge a week before election Tuesday,  Romney's fluid position on issues, and, frankly, an electorate that is about as smart as a box of buttons and as gullible as a third grade class. Nonetheless, it was the third point which ultimately proved to be the most powerful force against Romney, that is, Obama's likeability.  Simply, Obama appeared to be more likeable and not stereotypical of the angry black man. That one stark contrast swayed people of all stripes.

 "So why is Obama so likeable?  It's a way for people to say that even when they don't approve of what he does, they still appreciate the fact that Obama isn't Jesse Jackson or  Al Sharpton.  White Americans will always take a bargainer over a challenger. Consequently, there is an unspoken force drawing Obama forward, and this makes him much harder to beat at the ballot box than a white Democrat who might be identical to him in all other aspects.  This is something Obama's opponents must always keep in mind.  They must figure out how to give people permission to vote against Obama: if they cannot do this, they will never defeat him."                                                                                      Dinesh D'Souza, Obama's America.

Regrettably, Romney's hopeful message of American exceptionalism, jobs and a plan to revive an anemic economy fell on many deaf ears.  Those simple truths were not enough of a reason to vote against the "Likeable One" in office. Romney did not "figure out how to give people permission to vote against Obama." As a consequence, he lost to a very vulnerable opponent. Obama played "rope-a-dope" while Romney punched himself out.

So, as Forrest Gump said, "stupid is as stupid does."  America just got a whole lot more stupid this past week in front of the whole astonished world.

As a result of Tuesday's outcome, our landlord, China, is gleefully grinning ear to ear and our dogged enemy, Islamic terrorists, are high fiving each other in caves around the globe. For nary a shot being fired nor a bomb dropped, America is defeating itself from within....vote by vote.

The Believer

Will this man, Mitt Romney, Governor of Massachusetts, businessman, philanthropist and family man be the 45th President of the United States of America next week?  If the below groups have their say and come out en masse for Romney, he will defeat President Barack Obama and win the crown.  Here's the TWW's non-scientific totally subjective list of Romney's main twenty constituencies:

1. The Married Moms. Mothers young and old are very concerned about the economy and have not bought into the liberal lie of conservatives waging war on women.  These Moms are raising kids and worried about their kids future more so than free birth control in Obamacare. 10 million heroic voters.  100% voter turnout.

2. Working White Males. Buddies. Bros. Dudes. Sons.  Dads. Whatever you call them, they are fed up with Obama.  These men remain grounded with real concerns, like jobs, balancing checkbooks every month quite unlike their federal government.  They want Obama and his ilk OUT. 10 million disgusted voters.  100% voter turnout.

3.  The Military. From the cadets at West Point to the grunts in war theatres around the globe, they are worried about their commander-in-chief Obama.  Does c-i-c Obama have their back?  Benghazi answered that question. 5 million strong and brave voters.  100% voter turnout.

4.   Small Business Owners.  The greatest job creators in the country. These middle class warriors have endured four years of stagnation, fear and worry about the future.  They haven't hired or expanded because of Obama's failed policies and unknown future costs.  They are fired up.  10 million energized voters.  100% voter turnout.

5. The Capitalists.  The wealth makers in the country not only for themselves but for those who work for them.  Their trillions await on the sidelines until Obama is gone before they unleash the greatest infusion of capital into the country that the USA has ever witnessed. With billionaire fingers crossed and 100,000 voters.  100% voter turnout.

6. Tea Partiers.  Everyday people who want their country back from the moochers and the takers.  They have completely changed the political landscape in this country.  Want proof? Cue up the 2010 midterm elections.  They dished out a "shellacking" to Obama gained House control and still Obama didn't get the message and learn how to get along with the opposition. They are powerful, well funded, organized and civil.  Oh, did I mention rabid? 10 million voters.  100% voter turnout.

7.  The Faithful.  Those who believe in a Being larger than government have been holding vigils around the country for months that Obama is defeated.  Prayer is powerful when all else fails.  God's probably saying "enough already." 20 million ardent followers.  100% voter turnout.

8.  The Unemployed or Under-employed.  Truly the tragic face of the failed Obama Presidency.  While millions of people were out of work or getting laid off in Obama's first year in office he was too pre-occupied with Obamacare to care for them.  23 million angry talented workers without an office, shop or factory to go to.  100% voter turnout.

9.  The NRA.  The gun loving Second Amendment citizens who love their guns for sport and self-defense.
In anticipation of the unthinkable, gun owners are stocking up on more weapons in case Obama wins a second term.  1 million trigger happy voters.  100% voter turnout.

10.  The Outlier.  The nightmare for any liberal politician, a black smart conservative congresswoman-to- be,  Mia Love from Utah.  Check out this firebrand on YouTube. She is amazing, fresh, attractive and dynamic.  She is the "black swan", a rare occurrence that will have a huge influence on history, for the Republican Party and the USA.  1 Brilliant vote.  100% voter turnout.

11.  FOX NEWS.  While mainstream media throughout our country poisons soft gullible minds with sordid influence peddling, Fox News gives conservatives a voice for their many authentic causes.  The creation of FOX NEWS is the most brilliant addition to the conservative cause since Ronald Reagan's two terms in the 1980s.  Millions tune in everyday but in this survey it is hard to quantify how those numbers translate into votes.  But the categories above this and below this will certainly be Fox News fans.

12.  Pro-Marriage.  For many people in this country marriage is defined by a man and a woman.  However, the left continues to try to legitimize same sex marriage coast to coast.  Courts are full of same sex v traditional marriage cases. This is a fight that will not go away.  Recently, both sides confronted each other rather demonstratively in Chick-fil-A restaurants around the country.  While homosexuals and lesbians were making out, Moms and Dads were in line to get a sandwich.  10 million hungry voters.  100% voter turnout.

13.  Grover Norquist.  The Washington conservative lobbyist on everything to do with holding the line on new taxes.  Howard Jarvis disciple of the highest order.  Conservative politicians pledge their support and he gives them plenty.  If not, he cuts them off and they lose their office.  1 strong vote.  100% voter turnout.

14.  Physicians.  Is there a physician worth his or her salt who likes Obamacare?  Some have even closed up their practices in light of the coming onerous Obamacare.  They cite higher costs, government interference between patient and doctor and the topper still no tort reform for those liberal blood sucking darling tort lawyers, ie. John Edwards. 600,000 white-smocked doctors and surgeons.  100% voter turnout.

15.  OKLAHOMA.  The only state in the Union in which every county in the state voted for Senator McCain in 2008.  Sheer brilliance on their part.  What did they know that 70 million people failed to see?  Here's hoping there are more Oklahomas next week on Tuesday.  Since, we can count on Oklahoma again, that equates to about 2 million brilliant voters.  100% voter turnout.

16.  The Great Silent Majority.  There's a ground swell of discontent in our country coast to coast, border to border.  They don't make a whole lot of noise but they are seething underground.  They don't like what's happened to the USA.  Finally, their hushed voices will be heard loud and clear on next Tuesday.  30 million patient voters.  100% turnout.

17. The Immigrants (not including 85% Hispanics).  America is a patchwork quilt of immigrants wanting something better for themselves and for their families.  For that is why they came. America is the prized grail of opportunity.  They work hard.  They are decent. They contribute. They produce and do not take. They are smart business people.  They are a blessing to this country. 5 million industrious voters.  100% turnout.

18.  Country and Growing Suburbia.  Millions of conservatives have fled the liberal failures known as cities in our country and moved to safer and better governed locations away from the death grip of the liberal party.  Some people call these areas the "fly over" communities.  Small and insignificant when compared to the ant hill known as cities.  But add these communities up and they are a major demographic in our country.  Millions will vote.  Separate  from the categories above, expect 3 million happier voters to vote on Tuesday.  100% voter turnout.

19.  PRO-LIFE.  Is there a more contentious and obvious distinction between a conservative and a liberal than where one stands on the issue of abortion?  The Pro Life movement is growing  thanks to the intercession and leadership of church groups, church leaders and concerned citizens.  They believe that life inside the womb starts at conception.  And that a "right to life" is a constitutional right. A fetus's heart beats at six weeks. The Pro Choice liberal position is that a woman has the right to do as she pleases with her own body regardless of the obvious life within her. Sadly, our Supreme Court ruled in favor of the woman's right to choose in Roe V Wade in 1973.  Since then, approximately 50 million abortions have been performed in the USA. Pro-Lifers will be voting fervently against the pro abortion sitting President Obama. Recognizing cross categories above, a safe number would be 20 million activist voters will vote on Tuesday.  100% voter turnout.

20.  The Supreme Court.  Will this election be determined in the highest court of the land similarly to the ruling Bush v Gore in 2000?  If so, which way would the court rule?  In whose favor?  After the shocking Justice Roberts Obamacare ruling, it now appears that Romney would get four votes and Obama five if one uses the Obamacare ruling as a test. But who really knows for sure!  For this exercise, it's safe to put 4 votes in the bank for Romney.

So there you have it, Governor Romney's constituencies.  If you add up the projections of the voter turnout above, Romney will garner about 160 million popular votes.  However, because of the crossover appeal in several categories above that number could be discounted by a minimum of 50% to around 80 million votes for Romney which is 20 million more than Senator McCain collected in 2008.  If Romney gets close to 80 million votes, he wins by a wide margin.

All this conjecturing aside, it is a safe bet that over 130 million invested citizens will vote out of a total registered voting bloc of 200 million about a 65% voter turnout.  

In closing, three sure things will happen next week, there will be a winner, there will be a loser and profound change is coming to America once again.  Let us pray that this coming sea change will be good for all America. 

So, please exercise your right to vote next Tuesday or earlier.

And may God continue to bless this great land.