angels v Angels

I believe in angels. In fact, I talk to them all the time...under my breath. You may have heard the names of some of these angels: Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, and the guardian angel. I talk. They listen. Good things happen.

My hunch is, I'm not alone in talking to the angels. I see public displays of gratitude from very public figures in front of the whole world saluting the angels and the heavens. Tim Tebow, QB from the Denver Broncos, comes to mind. Another public figure that I often wondered about is the now erstwhile slugger from the St. Louis Cardinals, Albert Pujols, and his magnanimous gesture to the great above after hitting a home run or a big hit. Is he giving a shout-out to the angels with his signature gesture (see picture above)? I surmised yes. But as we all found out today, Albert's 'BIG A'ngels hailed from the City of Angels, Los Angeles, whereas my 'small a'ngels hail from a much loftier address. Big difference. Small 'a'ngels is spiritual. Big 'A'ngels is material.

Stunningly, today the St. Louis Cardinal great and beloved Albert Pujols accepted an offer he couldn't refuse from the cash rich big market Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County. The deal is 10 years, $254MILLION, a quarter of a billion dollars, a profane amount of cash with a no trade clause to boot. Is ANYBODY on the planet worth THAT for 10 years? I guess so. His name is Albert Pujols, a 32 year old baseball player. Let me put that number in the proper crazy context: Arte Moreno, the owner of the Angels, bought the club in 2003 for $180MILLION. And I thought our economy was in the tank! Silly me.

The Cardinal offer was "woefully" short coming in at "only" $200MILLION for nine years. Get real Birds! Throughout the history of this year-long melodramatic contract negotiation, Albert stated, two things: he wanted to retire a Cardinal alongside his idol, Stan Musial, and that his decision would not be about the money. Red flag, Nice try Albert, IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY.

So, who wins and loses after all of this. Here's my list, let's start with the winners:
1. Dan Lozano. Albert's sleazy agent. He'll make a 10% fee on $254 million. Increases his profile hugely. Scott Boras, who?
2. State of California Franchise Tax Board. 11% state income tax and growing. Jerry Brown thanks you, Albert.
3. Deidre Pujols aka Albert's wife. Her tetchy mood will be more stable in warm pleasant weather year round.
4. Albert's heirs. Set for generations. 50% tax coming. Who cares.
5. American League. Fans, TV rights and deals all are winners.
6. Orange County and a realtor. The OC trumps LA County and the Dodgers once again. And the Pujols will be looking for a very big palace on the Newport Coast. SoCal hasn't been this news relevant since the last earthquake or gas shortage.
7. NL Central. Cubs, Brewers, Reds will be sending Arte Moreno hugs and kisses for a long time.
8. Cardinal Minor Leaguers. New opening at first base.
9. Angels. Short term benefits while Albert is still in prime years.
10. Cardinals. Long term payroll benefits while Albert is long past his functional utility. The DeWitts, Owners of the Cardinals, are breathing again.

The losers are:
1. Cardinal Fans. Not seeing #5 at first base will be traumatic. How do you explain Albert's departure to a young adoring kid in STL? Broken-hearted. Innocence lost. Welcome to the big leagues kid. Sorry.
2. Small Markets. Baseball's non-cap salary reality strikes again at a mid-market team.
3. National Media. Nobody scooped this deal. Arte Moreno should head the CIA. He accomplished more in three hours furtively than the Cardinals accomplished overtly in 2 years.
4. National League. Just lost its Most Valuable Asset to the designated hitter league.
5. City of St. Louis. City continues to lose another icon to outsiders (see Anheuser-Busch).
6. American League West. Texas Rangers has to sign the officially-designated Pujols salary beneficiary, Prince Fielder, just to keep up with the Angels. Manager Ron Washington just dropped another m-fer bomb. Nolan Ryan is ready to punch somebody out!
7. Dominican Republic. Albert's beloved home country. Miami Marlins made geographic sense. Anaheim is four time zones and 4,000 miles away. I guess you just can't go home again.
8. The DeWitts. No matter how you look at this, they lost a sure first ballot future Hall of Famer on their watch. They will catch hell if the Cardinals languish for 10 years.
9. The Angels. Back end of the deal, about 5 years down the road when Albert can't tie his shoes and is still owed $125mil. "How bout batting instructor, Arte?"
10. The Cardinals. Front end of the deal when the Angels are in the World Series next year.

So, thanks for the memories, Albert. 11 years. Three World Series. Abundant good will spread throughout St. Louis. Hope you will be happy in Cali. And when you give that upstairs salute after future home runs, I'll now know what that means. Go Angel$$$$ of Anaheim. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Go Cards in 2012.